Well I have managed while sick to make sure to expose myself unnecessarily if not daringly to the cold wet air. I have made sure to sit in the most uncomfortable chair available near an opened the window. I have positioned myself in fron of the black mirror just askew enough so as to cause back and neck pain. The only reason I haven’t been smoking has been out of pure laziness. And now after finding some coins in a pair of shorts in a mound of clothes I am ready to continue feeding my already swollen heart. How many people can actually say their heart really hearts? I can touch it like a bruise. And im loveless again, by my own doing of course. Biting the feeding hand. Disgusted at every cell of everything that surrounds me. If I had liquor I would drink it. If I had a gun, it I would fire straight up into the sky. And wait with my mouth open for the bullets to fall. If the sky was glassen I would surely try to break it. If I could summon an earthquake from the Earth I would. If there were a button to push…id prefer a trigger.

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