Its like a Yakuza Sid and Nancy. I actually got to ride through one of my night fits to the point of merely observing my heart, which I clutched firmly in my hand while it ran and ran like an angry child. It was like watching a car crash intently from the inside. Strangely enough my ex called 3 times this morning saying she was worried. That she had been dreaming about me for the last 3 days. One dream that I was bald and in my underwear the skin peeling off my scalp. Wishful thinking? She called once more when I was up but I did not answer.
Woke feeling like I had spent the night in a sleeping bag. Felt like I had my head in a pillow case with the pillow included. My throat feels like I have a piece of leather lodged in it somewhere. Of course theres no water today, the rationing still going on unscheduled, dependant of the weather. I was really looking forward to a shower today. Fell asleep last night listening to Dj Crush and Toshinoro Kondo. Forgot I was rocking that for a good while in my hovercraft, always at night. How long ago was that I wonder?
Ive moved pepezito (my daughters Bettah) out to the ranch with me. Hed been ignored on top of the fridge for too long. Im sure the vibrations were killing him. This is his fourth home so far. He seems happy, if he were a dog hed be wagging his tail. He knows im his father and like to hang out with me. he knows hes in good hands with me.
I have a feeling today is going to be filled with novelty, be it good or bad. Its strange to go to sleep at night thinking you might die, very Dostoyevkskian. Well thats what my heart thinks anyway, im still here.
I can almost see the end of the year from here. Down there somewhere, like a small town ill soon be visiting. No rush, ill get there slowly during the night and try to arrive in the morning. Its always good to catch a new place with its pants down.